Murder By Stupidity
by Sideshow Bob Roberts
Summary: When Mr. Burns invites some of the most familliar faces in Springfield for dinner and a murder, questions arise at who will commit the murder and who will be murdered. This is my sequel to Rat Race, Simpsons Style!
1. Chapter 1

**Here is my latest movie parody: Murder by Stupidity. This Simpsons story is based on the movie: Murder By Death, w****here five detectives are invited to dinner and a murder. Mr. Twain is the host who invites the team of detectives and makes a bet: One of them will solve the case, one will be the murderer, and one will be the victim. **

**Oh, one more thing. Disco Dinah is an somewhat of an original character from a previous story of mine: ****Rat Race, Simpsons Style!**** I thought it would be nice to bring her back, so you'll see her later! I also gave Comic Book Guy a cousin for the sake of letting him have a partner. He's called: Movie Critic Guy.**

**R&R!!**

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_**Murder By Stupidity: **_**Yet another movie parody by Sideshow Bob Roberts**

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**Chapter One: The Invites Sent Out**

Deep in a forest in Springfield, Mr. Burns prepares a dinner for five groups of people in his country home, which is a mansion, of course. He sits at his desk signing invitations. He signs one saying: The Simpsons. Then ones with the following names: Abe Simpson, Disco Stu, Comic Book Guy and The Nahasapeemapetilons. He rings a bell. Smithers comes walking in, banging a cane against things finding his way to Burns' desk.

"Smithers? What in the world happened to you?" Mr. Burns asks as he looks at Smithers.

"Well, sir. I had laser eye surgery and they said I'd be temporally blind. But don't worry, sir. I raked the leaves like you asked before I had the surgery."

"Yes, well. Stamp these and send them out." Burns hands Smithers the invitations.

Smithers grabs them and licks a stamp. He misses and stamps the desk. He does this several more times.

"Never mind, I'll do it myself!" Burns takes the letters and stamps back. He puts the stamps on and hands the invites back. "Now, mail these out immediately!"

"Yes, sir." Smithers walks out of the room.

Burns gets up from his chair and looks out his window. "Soon, the games shall begin." Burns laughs evilly in front of his window. He hears a dog yelp he stops laughing and looks out the window. "Smithers, that's a dog, not a mailbox!" He sighs and sits back down. "It's hard to find good help these days."

**Okay, I know this chapter is short, but it's just a little taste of what's to come.**

**Coming Up in chapter Two: The guests ride to the mansion. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Beginning Of An Eventful Evening**

A few days passed and the five people received their invitations. Most of which are already driving through the forest, trying to find the mansion. The Simpsons are the first to admit they're lost. Well, Marge is at least.

"Homie, we really should ask for directions." Marge says looking out the window.

"Never! I will find that mansion if it kills me." Homer says, determined.

"Dad, why don't you just call the mansion and ask for directions. I don't think there's anyone out here anyway." Lisa says, also looking out the window.

"I would, but I don't have my cell phone."

"Homer! How many times have I told you to bring your cell phone with you?" Marge glares at Homer.

"Too many to count." Homer laughs, then stops when he looks at Marge. "Look, there's a pay phone! Let's use that." Homer stops the car. He gets out and dials the number that was on the invitation.

"What a crappy place to get lost." Bart says as he gets out of the car.

"And to think, we almost stopped at a five-star hotel to ask directions." Homer laughs. "Hello, is anyone there? Hello..." He says into the phone.

At the mansion, Burns is preparing the place for dinner. He is making it more, spooky if you will. He walks over to the ringing phone snips the phone line.

"That's weird. Sounds like somebody snipped the wire!" Homer says as he hangs the phone up.

"What did it sound like?" Marge asks.

"Snip." Homer responds.

Also lost in the forest are Apu and Manjula.

"Oh, I am so glad we have a night away from the octuplets." Apu says.

"Yes, and now we have a romantic weekend together." Manjula says.

"I only hope that the sitter we got can handle the eight."

"Nine, actually." Manjula replies.

"Nine? Did you have another child?" Apu asks.

"Oh, no. The Simpsons dropped Maggie off with the sitter as well."

"Oh, thank Vishnu for that. You had me worried. But nine? I hope he's a good sitter."

At Apu's place, Barney is asleep on the couch as the children run around breaking things. Maggie is the only one who seems to be behaving. She takes out her pacifier and sticks it in her ear. She takes out another one and sticks it in her other ear. She looks around for another pacifier, but can't find one. She starts sucking on her thumb, instead.

Back at the mansion, Burns is going through the halls making sure the doors do squeak. He loosens the hinges on one and checks the squeaky-ness.

In the forest, Manjula stops the car.

"What is the matter, dear?" Apu asks.

She shushes him. "Listen." They listen. "Did you hear that?"

"What?"

"Never mind I thought I heard--" Homer steps in front of Apu's window.

"Hi. I was hoping maybe you knew--APU!" Homer realizes who he is talking to. "What are you doing here?"

"We are going to a weekend get together. With you! Don't you remember?" Apu asks.

"Clearly I don't." Homer responds. "Do you know the way?"

"Yes, just follow--" Manjula slams on the gas. "What are you doing, Manjula? I was just about to tell him to follow us."

"Homer Simpson is the worst driver in the world. Do you really want him behind us?" Manjula asks.

"No, good point. Drive on, please." He says.

Also driving through the forest, is the Comic Book guy and his lesser known cousin, Movie Critic Guy.

"Thank you for accompanying me to the dinner gathering. It has been too long." Comic Book Guy says.

"I agree. This is the perfect occasion to get together." Movie Critic Guy pats his cousin on the shoulder.

"Nuts!" Comic Book Guy proclaims.

"What was that?" Movie Critic Guy asks.

"Nuts. There's no nuts in my chocolate! I told you to get chocolate with nuts. Now I have plain, boring chocolate." He holds up his candy bar.

"The owner didn't have any nuts!" Movie Critic Guy says.

"The owner didn't have any what?"

"Oh, grow up."

But those two aren't the only ones lost in the forest, Disco Stu and his wife-to-be Dinah, are on their way as well.

"Disco Stu is excited to go out with you! Oh!" Stu says as he drives.

"Yeah, I feel the same way with you. So you say Mr. Burns is hosting this dinner?" Dinah asks looking out the window.

"Yup. And Disco Stu can only wonder what he is going to do." The truck stops. "Disco Stu thinks he forgot to fill the tank." He looks at the gas gauge and shakes his head. "Not good."

"Well...I saw a gas station a few miles back, Stu."

Stu reaches back and pulls out a gas can. "Then Disco Stu says, get walking! Oh!" Stu hands the can to Dinah.

"You're lucky you're so handsome." She gets out and starts walking.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Arrivals and Accidents**

Apu and Manjula have finally found the mansion. They stop in front of a rickety bridge.

"Oh my, look at that bridge! Do you think we will make it?" He looks over to the driver's seat. Manjula is gone. "Manjula?"

"Yes, I do." She says outside the car.

"Then why are you outside the car?"

"To see if you can make it! Drive across, please."

"Why me?" Apu asks.

"Because I was smart enough to get out of the car first. Drive across." She points to the mansion.

Apu climbs over to the driver's seat. "She'll be the death of me. But I love her." He slowly drives across the bridge. Some pieces of the bridge break off, but he makes it. "I made it, Manjula! I made it!!" He shouts.

"Good, good. Now come back and pick me up!" She shouts back.

Apu drives back and picks up Manjula. He drives across again and into the entrance of the mansion.

"Honey, read number of the house. Are we at the right place?" Apu asks.

"It says...22--"

"Correct. 22 Burns House." They park the car and get out. As they are walking to the front doors, Apu sees something in the window. "Did you see that?"

"No."

"Then neither did I." They walk to the front steps. "Stop. Something is wrong here." Apu says.

"What?"

"Just jump on three, okay? One...two...three!" They jump out of the way. A gargoyle statue crashes to the ground.

"How did you know, honey?" Manjula asks.

"I kind of thought something was going to happen when I saw this." He pointed to two white outlines of footprints. "These are really tiny feet." He walks to the door and rings the doorbell. A scream is heard. "Oh, my! What is that?"

"I think it was the doorbell. Either that or someone is getting killed in there." Manjula replies.

"Let us hope it is the doorbell." Apu rings the bell again. The scream is heard again. "Oh, thank goodness."

Smithers opens the door. "Good evening, Mr. Burns has been expecting you."

"Yes, but at what condition? You should really get that roof fixed. Falling statues can kill, you know!" Apu says.

"Yes, the mansion is due for a repair soon." Smithers replies.

"Can we come in?" Manjula asks.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were in." The two enter. "Can I take your bags?"

"Yes, yes. Thank you very much." Apu hands the blind Smithers his bags.

"Let me just get the door." Smithers puts the door against the wall, leaving it open instead of closing it. "Right this way."

They walk up the stairs and past a cage that was built into the wall. Barking can be heard from it. "Sounds like a big dog." Apu says.

"Actually that would be the cat." Smithers says.

"Cat? Do you feed it dog food?" Apu asks.

"Mr. Burns recently had him fixed and he isn't too happy about it." Smithers continues to walk up the stairs. The Cat growls at Apu as he walks by. They continue on until they stop at a door. "This will be your room. I hope you find it to your liking. Oh, I started a fire in the fireplace for you. Enjoy." Smithers opens the door. Apu and Manjula sees that the bed is on fire they put it out. "Yes, the fireplace may be a little dusty, it hasn't been used in a while."

"At least the bed will be warm." Apu says. "What time is dinner?"

"Nine O'clock. And please dress up." The doorbell rings, or screams I should say. Smithers exits.

Downstairs, the Simpsons have made it inside. Bart nearly got killed by the falling statue.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bart?" Marge asks.

"Yeah, mom. I'm fine."

"Glad that wasn't me!" Homer says as he shuts the door. "Man, that would've hurt." Homer laughs. He stops. "Hey look, it's Smithers." He points to Smithers who is finding his way to the door.

Smithers opens the door, unaware that the Simpsons are already inside. "Come in."

"We let ourselves in, actually." Marge says. Smithers jumps a little. "Are you okay?" She looks at Smithers.

"No, not really. I had laser eye surgery and I can't really see at the moment. Can I take your bags?"

"Sure." Homer hands him the bags. "Don't let him park the car." Homer whispers loudly to Marge.

"Right this way." Smithers takes them up to their room. At the door he stops to explain something. "Sorry about the dustiness of this room. Its the only one Mr. Burns doesn't use." He opens the door. Cobwebs everywhere. A mouse runs by Marge's feet and she screams. "Oh, more guests." Smithers starts to walk away.

"Actually, that was Marge." Homer says.

"Oh, well dinner is at 9. See you soon." Smithers shuts the door.

Lisa goes over and sits on a chair. "Hey, this isn't dust! It's baking flour And the cobwebs is powdered sugar." Lisa says as she tastes the sugar.

"Mmmmm...cobwebs." Homer says.

"Someone did all this just to try and spook us." Lisa gets out of the chair and goes to the bookcase.

Homer picks up a mouse. "Yeah, and look at this phony mouse!" He laughs.

"Um, dad?" Bart points to the mouse in Homer's hand. It is moving.

Homer drops the mouse on the ground. It scurries off. "Ew! Ew! Ewwwwww!!" Homer shakes his hand frantically. Marge just shakes her head.

The Comic Book Guy is the next guest to make it to the mansion.

"There it is, Montgomery Burns' Mansion." Comic Book Guy says.

"You have chocolate on your face."

"Idiot, that is my mustache." Comic Book Guy responds.

"Lick it, then."

Comic Book Guy licks his upper lip. He realizes he has chocolate on his lip. "Wipe it off, my hands are sticky."

"Sloppy." Movie Critic Guy wipes off the chocolate on his cousin's lip.

As they go to the door and ring the bell, a knock comes from the back door in the kitchen where Smithers is. "Oh, you can wait." Smithers blindly makes his way to the door in the kitchen and opens it. A woman with red hair is standing at the door. She is wearing all black and is rather short. She doesn't say a word. "He-Hello? Is anyone there?" The lady walks in and looks around. "Stupid kids." Smithers shuts the door.

Comic Book Guy and Movie Critic Guy entered the house while Smithers was doing this. A gargoyle statue hit Movie Critic Guy in the back. He lies on the ground in pain. "Sloppy!" Comic Book Guy says mockingly.

Back in the kitchen, Smithers walks down the steps. He bumps into the maid. "Oh, you must be the kitchen maid that Mr. Burns hired. Yes?"

She says nothing. She takes out a sheet of paper from her purse and holds it out in front of Smithers' face. It says **My name is Yetta, I cannot speak or hear. **

"A little shy, huh?" Smithers makes his way to a table. "Well, there's 10 for dinner. And here is the menu." Smithers searches around for the menu. When he finds it he holds it out to Yetta.

She pulls out another paper. **I cannot read English. This note was written for me. Signed: R.T Writing Company.** She looks at the paper and throws it aside.

"Do you understand? And, uh, when I need you this bell will ring." He points to the bells on the wall. "Now, get to work." Yetta walks over and sits down in a chair.

Comic Book Guy is now trying to use the phone in the main room. "Hello. Hello? I am saying hello hello!"

"It's dead." Smithers said as he walks into the room.

"What-- Who is?" Comic Book Guy asks hesitantly. "Oh, the phone. Yes, well I deducted that." He hangs up the phone.

"That phone has been out for ages." Smithers says getting closer.

"Is there anything in this house that is working? The phone is dead, statues are falling onto a little boy's footprints, mice running rampant and--" He looks outside. "It is raining. Of course. I left the windows down and the comic books I was going to sell uncovered . Oh...there is a disturbance in my wallet!"

"Can I get you some cocoa?" Smithers asks.

"Yes. Thank you."

Smithers rings the bell to call the maid. But, since she can't hear, nothing happens. Smithers rings the bells frantically. "I'll get it for you later. Right now, I will show you to your rooms."

Comic Book Guy follows Smithers, but stops at Movie Critic Guy who is on the stairs. "I do not trust this guy. Have you seen the way his eyes never look at you?"

"He is blind." Movie Critic Guy responds.

"We will soon find out. Get up, get up." They go up the stairs and towards their room.

In the room, Smithers sets their luggage down. They enter the room. "Dinner will be at Nine, and the maid will bring you your cocoa." Smithers starts to leave.

"Wait." Comic Book Guy stops him. He proceeds to make funny faces to see if Smithers really is blind. No response. "That will be all." Comic Book Guy wipes his lips. Smithers leaves. "He really is blind. Those were my funniest faces!"

"I've seen funnier." Movie Critic Guy responds.

"Just because you are a movie critic, doesn't mean you have to be a life critic."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: All The Guests Arrive**

Disco Stu and Dinah arrive at the bridge.

"There's Burns' creepy mansion!" Stu says pointing at the mansion.

"Oh, my feet. Why didn't you tell me we needed oil when I went to get gas?" Dinah rubs her feet.

"Disco Stu ain't no mechanic!" They continue to the mansion. They park the car and ring the bell. The statue falls and hits Stu. Smithers opens the door.

"Oh...my fiance, dead! Catch me, I'm gonna faint!" She tries to fall into the hands of Smithers, but with him being blind, he misses in catching her and she falls to the ground.

Stu pops up. "Disco Stu is not dead, thank you!" He brushes the dust of his suit.

"Oh, I was so worried." Dinah hugs Stu. "How did you survive?"

"Disco Stu has had many falls in his day! But he always pops back up. Disco Stu has a back of steal, yeah!" Stu busts a move.

"Don't scare me like that again, honey."

"You got it babe." Stu looks at Smithers. "Sorry for the scare, dude. "

"What scare? What happened? Who are you?" Smithers asks.

"I'm Disco Stu and this is my funky wife-to-be Dinah. That gargoyle hit me in the back! I was standing on those little footprints and BAM! Struck by statue. Uncool, man. Uncool."

"Sorry for the inconvenience. Allow me to show you to your rooms."

After Smithers takes Stu and Dinah to their room, he goes to the kitchen. "Its almost Nine O'clock! Is the dinner ready?" He sniffs around. "I don't smell anything. Very light in the seasoning, good choice. You get the soup ready, and I'll serve the drinks." The maid sits in her chair, oblivious to all the things he is saying to her. "When I ring the bell, take out the asparagus." He leaves the room. The maid sits back in her chair and shrugs her shoulders.

The Simpsons emerge from their room a few hours later. Marge is wearing a red dress with matching red shoes. Homer is wearing his blue suit. Bart is also wearing a blue suit. Lisa is wearing a tan dress. They stand in front of a mirror. "How do I look, Homie?"

"Beautiful as usual, Marge."

"Awwww, thank you."

"How about me?" Homer asks.

"Hmm...fat and stupid." Bart laughs before Homer starts to strangle him.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!! I'll teach you...to point out...the obvious!!" Marge breaks the two up.

"Sorry, Homer. You made that way too easy." Bart says.

"Behave, you two."

"Did I hear some strangling? It must be the Simpsons!" Apu says as he comes out of his room. He too is wearing a dress, strangely enough.

"Apu! What are you doing here?" Homer asks again.

"I'm here for the dinner p--wait, didn't I already tell you this?"

"Maybe, I forget." Homer looks down at his feet.

"Why are you wearing a dress, Apu?" Marge asks.

"Oh, this old thing? Manjula insisted that I follow her family traditions and wear ceremonial dresses to parties."

"I think you look handsome." Manjula says.

"Thank you." Apu blushes.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Simpsons." Comic Book Guy Says as he comes out of his room. He is wearing a tuxedo T-shirt. Meaning, it looks like a tuxedo, but it is really just a T-shirt made to look like a tuxedo. Movie Critic Guy comes out wearing a blue tuxedo. "And the Nahasapeemapetilons. This is my cousin, Movie Critic Guy."

"Hello." Movie Critic Guy says.

"Movie Critic Guy? You mean there's two of you?" Homer asks, shocked.

"Marjorie, I suppose?" Movie Critic Guy walks over to Marge and kisses her hand. He coughs.

"I'm sorry, our room is so dusty." Marge says.

"No, my fault. I should have blown first."

"I say we go downstairs. Dinner is about to begin." Apu says.

"I could use a drink." Homer says.

"Amen to that." Movie Critic Guy says.

They go downstairs and into the den. They all grab a drink.

"Where are the others?" Lisa asks as she sits on the couch.

Bart sits next to her. "Others? What others?"

"As we were walking into the den, there are ten seats at the main table. And then there's the kiddie table."

"Kiddie table!? No way, I'm too old for that." Bart gets up.

"Maybe, but you act that young." Lisa laughs.

"So four more people are coming." Marge says.

"And two of 'em are me! I mean us." A voice says from behind.

"Grandpa? What are you doing here?" Lisa asks.

"I got an invitation to this fancy get together. And I brought Jasper, here."

"Hey." Jasper says quietly.

"Well, that's two of them, but who are the other two?" Comic Book Guy asks.

"That would totally be us!" Disco Stu says from the door. "Disco Stu and Disco Dinah, at your service, OH!" They pose in the doorway.

"Nice to see most of you again." Dinah says. "Except for you four." She points to Comic Book and Movie Critic Guy, and Grandpa and Jasper.

"That's my dad!" Homer jumps in. "And some old guy." He walks away.

"And I am Comic Book Guy, local Comic Book aficionado! And this is my cousin, Movie Critic Guy."

"Nice to meet you." Movie Critic Guy says as he blows on her hand and then kisses it. Dinah looks at Stu, he just shrugs his shoulders.

Just then, a moaning sound comes from a mask on the wall. Homer shrieks. "What is that?"

Comic Book Guy inspects it. "I do believe it's going through its final moments. What could it mean?"

Smithers walks in. "It means dinner is ready, we don't have a gong."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Dinner Before Death**

Everyone is now seated at the table in the dining room. About thirty minutes have passed, and no one has gotten their food. On the side near the kitchen door: Manjula, Apu, Dinah, Movie Critic Guy and Comic Book Guy. On the opposite side: Marge, Homer, Stu, Jasper and Grandpa. In the corner of the room are Bart and Lisa at a kiddie table. Lisa gets up and walks over to the adult's table.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I have a toast. To our host, Mr. Burns. I have three things to say. One: He's gathered some of the most familiar faces in Springfield, for what reason we do not know. Two: He has set traps for us. The rickety bridge, the falling statues. But does he mean to kill us? No, he could have done that at any time. Three: He is obviously challenging us. Maybe a battle of the brains, if you will. So here's a toast to our host: Evil Genius? Or Playful Host? We shall soon find out. Thank you." Lisa goes back to her table.

"Thank you Lisa, that was very good." Marge says as she raises her glass.

"Wait!!" Homer shouts. "Point Four: The wine is poisoned. See?" Homer pours out the wine onto a napkin. When he picks it up there is a hole in the center. "And odorless, colorless and tasteless poison in sweet, sweet alcohol. Why alcohol, why?!" Homer shouts into the air.

"Wow dad, you just saved us all!" Bart says.

"Thanks boy."

Comic Book Guy stands up. "Not quite. Bottoms up!" He drinks the wine. Everyone yells. "Only Homer's wine was poisoned. Point Five: Mr. Burns knew that people like us, foodies if you will, can tell when something is not right in the world of food and drink. Right?"

"Well...actually I saw that." Homer points to a bottle on the mantle of the fireplace that is marked poison in big red letters.

"Ah, yes. That is also a good reason." Comic Book Guy sits down.

"But that makes Smithers very suspicious seeing as he served the wine." Dinah says.

"But he's blind, babe." Stu replies to Dinah.

"Quiet, here he comes." Grandpa says.

"Sorry the food is a little late, I'm having a little dificulty with the cook. Here's the soup." Smithers picks up the large bowl and ladel.

"Who poured that wine?" Comic Book Guy asks.

"Mr. Burns did. He left it in the fridge for me. I was also told to give Homer the one with the sticky stem."

"Didn't you ask why?" Marge asks.

"Marge, I was lucky to find the fridge in the first place." He walks over to Comic Book Guy. He feels around to make sure he's over the table. "Soup?"

"Oh, yes. Don't have to ask me twice." Comic Book Guy says. Everyone is watching as they are extremley famished. When Smithers pulls the ladle out, they find that there is nothing in the bowl to start with. He walks away.

"Wait, where is my soup?" Comic Book Guy asks.

"In your bowl."

"There is nothing in my bowl but my bowl. See?" He picks up his spoon and hands it to Smithers. Smithers dips it in the bowl and tastes the air.

"Ah. I see. Well, time to talk to the cook." He picks up the bowl and heads back to the kitchen.

"What in the name of disco is going on here?" Stu asks.

"Why don't you ask that moose on the wall, he's been watching us since we've got in here." Marge points to the moose. Everyone gasps.

In the kitchen, Smithers in yelling at the cook. "10 people and I'm serving them hot bowls of nothing. You know what, you're fired. You hear me?" Of course, she doesn't. Smithers goes up the steps and opens the door. "And stay out". She is still in the chair in the kitchen. Smithers slams the door.

"Wait, the seating is all wrong." Lisa points out. "Dad should switch with Manjula. The husband is suposed to be across from the wife."

They switch. "I want to swtich with you." Bart says.

Lisa reasons. "It's practically the same seat!"

"No, yours is bright green. Mine is bright pink. I want green." Bart says childishly.

"Fine." They get up. As they stand, two swords fall and pierce their seats where they were sitting.

"Ay Carumba!"

"Bart! Are you okay?" Marge runs over to Bart.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Lise?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. Good call Bart on switching seats." Lisa says.

"I can still have the green chair, right?"

Smithers brings out the food and they eat until about 10:45. Then, the lights go out. Everyone is in a panic. "Nobody move!" Comic Book Guy says, trying to calm them down. "Wait, I smell...Good God! Franks and Beans!!"

Smithers voice comes from the darkness. "It's all we have left."

"Wait, I heard footsteps." Apu pauses. The lights turn on and Mr. Burns is at the head of the table.

"AHH! Mr. Burns!!" Homer yells.

"Hello everyone." Mr. Burns says.

"Bitchin' entrance."

"Bart, watch your language!" Marge says to Bart.

"I trust everyone is comfortable?" Burns asks.

"Comfortable? How is poisoned wine and falling swords comfortable?" Apu asks.

"No, I call it inspiration. Pitting wits with you, if you will."

"Yeah? Well this pit is leaving!" Homer gets up and prepares to open the doors.

"No one is leaving." Mr. Burns laughs and pushes a button on his chair. Bars rise up against the windows and all the doors lock.

"What is the meaning of this whole funky ride?" Stu asks.

"The meaning, Disco Stu if that is your real name, is that I have brought five of the most familar faces of Springfield--" Lisa smiles. "--Together for an opportunity for populartity. And futhermore, that there is one brillant mind of this bunch." They look around. "No, no! Not you morons! Me. I'm the brilliant mind. You have all had your fair share of adventures in Springfield. You've all undoubtdly had your name in the paper at one point. Well, I'm here to offer you one thing: World Popularity. What would you do if you found yourself trapped in a house, only to discover that a dead body at midnight that was stabbed 12 times with a butcher knife in the back is found. And one of you could solve the crime, but is highly unlikely?"

"Murder?" Grandpa asks.

"Yes! Murder, Abe. Murder indeed."

Jasper, whose been asleep this whole time, wakes up. "Murder, wha?"

"But...the victim AND the murderer is sitting at this very table."

"And you totally know whose gonna get it?" Stu asks.

"Oh, yes." Burns replies. "And how and when. I know all." Burns laughs.

"But doesn't that make you the murderer?" Marge asks.

"No wives. I refuse to talk to wives."

"Hmm...but she's right. All fingers do point to you." Lisa says.

"Let's make it more intresting... 1 Million Dollars to the one who solves the case."

"YOU DID IT!! Money please." Homer holds out his hand.

"We haven't even started yet, you buffoon." Homer sits down. "It is now almost 11 O'Clock, one hour before the murder. See you soon." Burns turns out the lights and laughs. When the lights turn on, he's gone.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Homer asked.

"He's right there!" Abe points to the other end of the table, Mr. Burns is now sitting on the opposite side from where he was previously.

"Actually, I was here the whole time. A little trick with mirrors."

"Want to risk seven years bad luck?" Bart pulls out his slingshot.

"Mirrors don't always work...adios." Burns pushes a button and the doors open behind him. His chair goes flying back. The doors slam. One hour and counting until someone is murdered.

"I hope he knows how to stop that thing..." Marge says.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: An Interesting Development**

"So now what are we going to do? Sit around and wait until one of us is dead?" Grandpa asks.

"Won't be too long for you, old man." Movie Critic Guy says.

"Hey! I'm as spry as a 65 year old, for your information ya whipper snapper!"

"Sorry, I'm a little grumpy when I don't get my food."

"And where is Smithers? Why has he not returned?" Comic Book Guy stands up.

"And where's our food?" Homer joins him. "I'm going to look for him..."

"No!" Lisa shouts. "No one should leave this room. "

Bart looks at Lisa. "Why?"

"Because, Burns said the victim is at the table. If no one leaves, there will be no murder." Lisa responds. "Join hands everyone." Lisa and Bart go to the other table and join hands.

Stu is getting annoyed with Jasper. "Stop it. Stop it, dude."

"What's the problem, honey?" Dinah asks.

"This old dude keeps flippin' me off!"

"Jasper, stop it!" Abe tells Jasper.

They sit for about forty minutes then...

"Look!" Marge points to the maid who has come into the room. She is screaming...sorta. She looks like she's screaming, but no noise is coming out. "What's wrong?"

The maid points to the kitchen. "Something is wrong with our food?!" Homer guesses.

"Dad, stop thinking about food!" Lisa tells Homer. The maid pulls out a piece of paper. It says: **I think Smithers is dead. My name is Yetta, I don't work Thursdays.** "Well, someone has to go."

"Myself, Homer and Comic Book Guy will go." Apu says. "Everyone stay here. I'll be back, honey" Apu kisses Manjula. The three proceed into the kitchen. As Apu walks down the hall he almost opens a door.

"Careful!" Comic Book Guy warns.

Apu turns around. "What?"

"Fingerprints." He hands Apu a handkerchief.

"Where? Oh, mine. Thank you." Apu opens the door. They walk into the kitchen. Smithers lies dead on the table.

"Lift up his head." Comic Book Guy says.

"Why?" Homer asks.

"To see if he is alive. The first thing you do when you see a dead body is make sure it is dead." Apu reaches for Smithers' head. "Fingerprints! Use the pencils." They stick a pencil in each ear and pull him up.

Apu checks for a heartbeat through handkerchief. "Not pulse or heartbeat. If these conditions do not change, he is dead."

"Or worse!" Homer says.

"What's worse than death?" Apu asks.

"I don't know...ask me later, I'm too hungry to think."

Comic Book Guy spots a cup on the table. "Look, cocoa! That's probably mine..." He sniffs it. "Could it be poisoned?"

"What does it matter? Burns said the victim was at the table, Smithers wasn't at the table at the time."

"So?" Homer asks.

"This is just another test, probably. Or a diversion." Comic Book Guy says. He looks over to a knife rack. "Look! The butcher's knife is gone! A sign, no doubt."

"The others are in danger. How much time is left?" Apu asks.

Homer looks at his watch. " 11:31 and 56 seconds. 57. 58. Tell me when to stop. 59. 60"

"28 minutes to main murder. We must go back and join hands until midnight." Comic Book Guy leads them back. "Wait!!" Comic Book guy looks at a piece of paper in Smithers' hand. He reaches for it.

"Wait, fingerprints." Apu says.

"Yes..." Comic Book Guy takes out the handkerchief and uses it to grab the paper out of Smithers' hand. "Good Lord..."

"What?" Homer asks.

"Everything here was catered. The chairs, the cook, the food, everything." Comic Book Guy says.

"And yet, we get no food..." Homer says.

They go to the door leading back to the dining room. Homer tries to open it. "What the--it's locked!!"

"They must of locked it to be safe. Go back and get the key, it should be in the dead Smithers' pocket." Apu says to Homer.

"Ewwww...don't say dead! It's bad enough I have to stick my hand in his pocket." Homer goes back. When he enters the kitchen, Smithers' body is gone but his clothes are still there. Homer shrieks. He reaches into the pocket and grabs the key. He runs back. "Guys, Smithers is gone!"

"Then where did you get that key?" Apu asks.

"From his pocket!"

Comic Book Guy looks confused. "The body is gone, but his pocket is there?!"

"No, his body was gone but his clothes were there." Homer explains.

"What sort of freak would steal a dead naked body but leave the clothes?"

"There are people who--" Apu is stopped by Homer.

"Eww, stop." Homer unlocks the door. When they enter the dining room, everyone is gone.

"Where is everyone?" Apu asks.

"Either this room is empty, or it is filled with empty people!" Homer says.

Comic Book Guy goes to the other set of doors, he looks up and points to the lock. "Locked, from the inside. There's no way out...so where are they?"

"Maybe they're hiding...is it someone's birthday?" Homer asks excited. "Mmmmm...birthday cake."

"It is no ones birthday." Mr. Burns voice says.

"AHH! Mr. Burns!! Wait, where is he?" Homer looks around.

"The voice is coming from there!" Comic Book Guy points to a moose head on the wall.

"A talking cow?" Homer asks.

"MOOSE! Moose, you buffoon!" Mr. Burns insults from the speaker in the Moose head.

"What an angry cow..." Homer mumbles.

"What do you want, Burns?" Comic Book Guy asks.

"I'm simply trying to give you a clue. Interested?" Burns asks.

"Maybe...what kind of clue?" Homer replies.

"You all mistake what you assume, they never left the dining room! Count to ten, then turn the knob and try again!" Burns laughs evily as his voice fades away.

Homer thinks for a second. "What did the cow mean by count to ten and try again?"

"Maybe...we go back to kitchen, close the door. Count to ten and enter again!" Comic Book Guy says. They walk to the hallway to the kitchen

"And then the cake." He closes the door.

"This is never gonna work. It's madness." Apu says.

"Quiet. 8,9,10. Homer, open the door please." Comic Book Guy looks amazed as he sees the dining room that is now filled with people once again. "Did you all stay here while we were gone?"

"Yes, we stayed like you said. Why?" Dinah asks.

"Because, when we came back from the kitchen where Smithers lay dead, you were all gone!" Apu says as he enters the room.

"Oh my, Smithers is dead? Well...remind me to send flowers, Homie." Marge says.

Then, there were three gunshots. "Gunshots, Stu!" Dinah says.

"Gunshots, Dad!" Bart says.

Jasper wakes up. "Shoots!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Smithers Returns...Sorta**

Everyone is on the edges of their seats after hearing the gunshots. "Maybe one of us should check out what just happened?" Bart asks.

"But I thought we weren't supposed to leave the room?" Dinah responds.

"Yes, but this could be serious. I'll go. Bart, come with me." Lisa gets up and Bart follows. "Everyone stay here." They enter the kitchen hallway.

"Smithers dead and gunshots, what could this mean, Homie?" Marge asks.

"I don't know. But I hope I get that cake soon."

Bart and Lisa enter the kitchen. "Hey, Smithers is back." Bart says looking at the dead Smithers. "But he's naked!"

"Why would someone steal the body, then leave the clothes? Then come back and steal the clothes but leave the body?" Lisa asks.

"Maybe it's a deranged dry-cleaner." Bart laughs.

"No time for jokes. Examine the body for gunshot wounds." Lisa walks to the sinks.

"Me? Why me? Why don't you do it?"

"Fine, you look at this dead, naked Smithers and I'll look at the next dead, naked Smithers." Lisa says, tricking Bart.

"Deal!" Bart looks over the body. "Nothing here, Lise."

"Hmm...maybe this was just a distraction. He did say the person would be stabbed, not shot. He was just using up the time until the main murder occurs. Let's get back to the table. Only a few minutes left." They go back to the door. Bart stops at the bathroom. He goes in and closes the door. "What are you doing?"

Bart opens the door back up. "I'm washing my hands after, the uh--"

"Good." Bart closes the door. Lisa goes into the dining room, everyone is gone again. "Hey, just like Apu said, everyone is gone!" Lisa thinks. "Oh my gosh, I figured it out! Bart!!" She runs to the bathroom, leaving the dining room door open. When she opens the door she sees a giant cockroach on a bed.

"Hey, turn out the lights!!" The cockroach yells.

Lisa jumps. "Sorry." She closes the bathroom door. When she reopens it, Bart is there using the bathroom.

"Hey, what the hell? A little privacy please!" She shuts the door.

Lisa turns to the dining room door, it is now shut. "I don't remember shutting that door..." She opens the door and everyone is back. "You're back!"

"So it happened to you too?" Apu asks.

"Yes. And it's just as I thought. There is two of everything. Two dining rooms, two kitchens, two bathrooms, two of everything!" Lisa says.

"Then, that means...Burns must rotate the rooms, making the us believe that the room is empty, only it is the duplicate!!" Comic Book Guy says.

"Exactly." Lisa responds.

"And I'll prove it!" Homer goes to the kitchen door.

Lisa tries to stop Homer. "Dad, you don't need to--"

"Lisa, daddy is making a point. I will go out this door. And when I re-enter, I'll be in the duplicate room. I will exit and knock three times, and I will be back in this room!" Homer leaves.

There are three knocks on the door. Bart enters. "I figured it out, there is two of everything. Two--"

"That's old news, honey." Marge says. "Sit down Bart, the murder is about to begin."

Bart pulls up a chair near Marge. "Hold hands, everyone. Only five minutes until midnight." Grandpa says.

They all hold hands. Lisa looks worried. "I'm going to go look for dad." She starts to get up.

"No, it's too dangerous." Marge pulls Lisa back.

There is a knock on the other door, the one where Mr. Burns flew back in his chair.

Apu gets up. He tries to open it. "It is locked from the inside. I shall have to blast it." He pulls out a gun and shoots the knob. Homer runs in and shuts the doors. He is now wearing Smither's clothes.

"Where did you get that gun?" Manjula asks.

"Shoot me once shame on you, shoot me seventeen times, shame on me."

"What happened?" Marge asks. "Why are you wearing Smithers' clothes?"

"Don't ask. It all happened so fast." He gasps for air.

Dinah starts to ask. "But how--"

"I said don't ask!" Homer runs back to his seat and they all join hands. They count down until midnight. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6...no signs of murder to occur...5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The clock strikes midnight. They all sigh out of relief. "Whoo, glad that's over." Homer says wiping his brow.

"Hey, where's the maid?" Lisa asks pointing to the seat where the maid was sitting.

Stu looks behind him. "Whoa, Disco Stu is getting freaked out because of you." There is another knock at the other door.

"Come in!" Dinah says.

"Babe, it's probably the maid, and she totally can't hear!" Disco Stu responds.

"Oh, right. COME IN!!" She yells.

Homer gets up and opens the door. Mr. Burns stands there. "Oh, Mr. Burns. Looks like you were wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong." Homer pokes Mr. Burns. Burns falls to the ground. Homer shrieks. Burns has a butcher knife in his back and was stabbed twelve times. Burns was right, someone was killed: Himself. Homer raises his arms in the air. "WHOO-HOO! I don't have to go to work on Monday!"

"Homer, Mr. Burns is dead and all you can think of is work?" Marge says walking over to the body.

Homer lowers his head. "You're right...let's check his wallet."

"Homer!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Revealing The Motives**

Mr. Burns now lies dead in front of everyone. They are all gathered around the dead body.

Disco Stu walks away. "Where are you going, honey?" Dinah asks.

"Disco Stu must go number two! Oh!!" Stu waddles to the bathroom.

"Who did this? Everyone was at the table weren't they?" Manjula asks.

Dinah thinks. "Except Smithers, who's dead, and the cook..."

"THE COOK!" Everyone says in unison.

"The cook did it. Of course. She was the only one gone." Marge says.

"That's bogus!" Stu says entering the room. "Only an arm with some super cool muscles could stab a knife that far in. And this--" Stu holds up the cook's arm. Everyone gasps. "this arm is too weak."

"Is that a fake arm?" Homer asks.

"Oh, yeah!! A fake arm from a fake cook!" Stu drags out the cook, who is a large dummy. A plastic dummy, that is. "She's so totally a fake!"

"So, no food for me?" Homer asks.

Lisa examines the dummy. "It's perfect in every way except for the fact that it can't speak or hear."

"Maybe we should talk about this in another room where there is no dead body?" Movie Critc Guy says.

"Indeed. Let us adjorn to the den." Comic Book Guy walks out the doors, stepping over Burns on the way.

"Dinah, cover that funky dead body." Stu says walking away.

"Why me?" Dinah asks.

"Because You're the only one left in the room." Stu says in the hall. Dinah looks around and sees that she is the only living person left. She covers the body with some napkins.

In the den, everyone is getting a drink. Marge grabs the alcohol out of Bart's hand. "Bart, don't drink that! You're not old enough!"

"Yeah, wait until you're fifteen, boy!" Homer takes it from Marge.

Comic Book Guy stands in the middle of the room. "Let us examine the facts: Mr. Burns now lays dead in the dining room as he predicted someone would. Twelve stabs by butcher knife." He paces around.

"He was obviously in cahoots with the murderer." Apu states.

Lisa joins in. "He must have murdered himself."

"How?" Marge asks.

"Simple. If Burns can make rotating duplicate rooms, he can easily make a stabbing machine. It was all for ego. He wanted to die going out with a bang."

"Or, maybe one of us did it. Some of us, at one point, left the table. One of us could have easily done it. But, I think...Homer did it!" Apu points his finger to Homer.

"Wha? Why me?"

"Simple. You hated Mr. Burns for all the times he docked your pay and made a fool of you. You were more than happy to kill him."

"My Homie would never kill someone. Right?" Marge wraps her arms around Homer.

"Yeah...no human, anyway. I've ran over plenty of cats in my day." Homer laughs. "Maybe, you did it!" Homer points to Apu.

"Why would I kill him?" Apu asks.

"Because--" Lisa gets up. "Is it true that the Kwik-E-Mart was once owned by Mr. Burns?"

"Yes." Apu responds.

"And how did he treat his employees?"

"Poorly. But I would never kill him. Believe me, I had my thoughts. But I would be reincarnated as something horrible if I did. I did not kill Mr. Burns. Besides, he sold it back shortly after anyway."

"Or, was it a death of a beloved one due to nuclear waste, cousin?" Movie Critc Guy says to his cousin.

Comic Book Guy turns to the wall, as if to cry. "Yes, Burns nuclear waste did kill my beloved...Leia."

"Your wife?" Marge asks.

Comic Book Guy turns around. "My poodle. One day she got loose and ran all the way to Lake Springfield. I was about to grab her but she fell in. She died shortly after because of the radioactivity. I hated Burns, but I would never kill him. It is not the way of the Jedi." Everyone stares. "Sorry, forgot where I was for a moment."

"Or maybe, it was a hated family member!" Bart says, hoping to catch someone.

Dinah chimes in. "Burns was my godfather."

Bart sits up. "Cool, I was right!"

"When my parents died, Burns took me in. Yes, he treated me poorly. But he did take me to the circus every year for my birthday. He bought me cotton candy, took me on rides..." She smiles. "But we stopped going when I was 26." Everyone looks at each other. "He kicked me out of the house with nothing but the clothes on my back. I hated him, but I didn't kill him." Dinah looks at Stu who came over to comfort her.

"Maybe Abe did it." Jasper says, surprising everyone.

"Me? What the--what possible reason could I have?" Grandpa looks at Jasper.

"You hated him when he left you to die in WWII, remember?"

Grandpa thinks. "What? I never...oh yeah! I remember, man I hate that guy. What happened to him?"

Marge stares at Grandpa. "Grandpa! He's dead! You were there!!"

"Oh, okay." Grandpa goes back to sleep.

"So, five of you had a motive. One of you did it. But who?" Lisa says and stops to think.

"Let's sleep on it, I'm tired...and hungry." Homer says.

"I agree! Everyone, lock your doors and get some rest." Movie Critic Guy says.

Everyone goes to their rooms and they lock their doors. But, will they make it through the night?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Danger In The Bedroom and The Murderer Revealed**

In Apu' room, Manjula gets into bed next to Apu. "I'm really worried. What if I wake up and you are dead next to me?" Manjula says to Apu.

Apu looks at Manjula. "Simple: then you did it. Please, let's just go to sleep. In the morning, I'm sure everyone will be calm and collected." There is a hissing sound. "Turn off the steam, would you?"

Manjula looks across the room. "That isn't steam, it's a snake!! And it's coming towards us!"

"Oh, wake me when it comes near the bed." Apu goes to sleep.

The Simpsons are in their prospective beds. Homer and Marge in one, Bart and Lisa in their separate beds. Lisa ponders on the events. "So, let's recap: Smithers is dead probably by poison. Burns is dead due to a butcher knife in the back twelve times. And who did it?" Lisa sits up

On the other side of the room, Marge and Homer talk. "Marge, are you worried as much as I am?" Homer looks at Marge.

"Yes, especially for the children. Oh, Homie, what's going to happen?"

Homer looks at the end of the bed. "We'll be poisoned by that deadly scorpion."

"What scorpion?" She asks.

"That one!!" Homer points to the end of the bed. A scorpion crawls towards them slowly.

Marge whispers quietly to Homer. "Just stay still and it won't hurt us."

"But I have to go to the bathroom." He whines.

Stu and Dinah are in their rooms, unable to sleep. "Stu, do you have any idea who did it?" She asks as she takes off her shoes.

"Not a clue, foxy lady. But Disco Stu ain't gonna be the next to go." As he was about to open the door, a note is slipped under the door. He picks it up and reads it out loud: **Actually, you ARE the next one to go. There is a bomb in the room that will explode in thirty seconds. **"Oh my God! We gotta get the funk outta here!" He tries to open the door. He reads the bottom of the note. **P.S: The door is locked.** "Damn it. Honey, look away. I have an idea, but it won't do much."

"What are you--"

"Look away...'cause I'm gonna cry." Stu starts to sob.

Grandpa and Jasper, in their room, are sharing a bed for some reason. "Jasper?"

Jasper grunts.

"Who do ya think done it?"

Jasper responds. "Someone who we least expect to have done it did it."

Grandpa sniffs. "What the--gas!"

"Sorry."

"Not you, ya idjiot!! We're being gassed!! It's poisonous, no doubt."

"Sometimes my gas is poisonous." Jasper tries to sleep.

"I gotta get out of here!" Grandpa runs to the door and tries to open it. "It's locked!! No!!" Grandpa pounds on the door. "I'm too old to die!" Grandpa starts to cry as well.

In the Comic Book Guy's room, he is getting ready. He sets his alarm clock and gets in the bed. He looks over and sees the Movie Critic Guy lying next to him. He yelps. "What are you doing in the bed?"

Movie Critic Guy opens his eyes. "There is only one bed."

"Then sleep on the ground."

"But my back--"

"I don't care, you're not sleeping in this bed!"

Movie Critic Guy gets up and walks to the door. "Then I will sleep on a sofa!"

"Good!" Comic Book Guy looks at him strangely. "Are you getting taller?"

"No, why?"

"Then the room is getting smaller!!"

Indeed it is. The ceiling of the room is caving in on the two. Comic Book Guy whimpers in the bed while Movie Critic Guy tries to keep the ceiling from lowering.

Meanwhile, In Burns' office, a man is at the desk crossing off names on a list. Everyone's but Apu's and Manjula's are crossed off. As he was about to cross it off, Apu walks into the room. "Not so fast. Don't cross off the Nahasapeemapetilons. Instead, cross off snake."

Manjula runs in carrying the dead snake. "Excellent shot, honey."

"Thank you. I will take my million now...Mr. Smithers."

Yes, the man at the desk is none other than Smithers. "Very good. But how did you know?" Smithers asks.

"Simple. You were the butler as it were for the evening. I went back to very old theory: The Butler Did It." Smithers takes out the million dollars. "The body we found in the kitchen was made of plastic just like the cook. Only this one could speak and hear, but not see. You murdered Burns while we examined the dummy."

"Very good."

"Stop right there!" Abe and Jasper walk into the room. "He's not Smithers. He's really: Irving Goldman." Apu sits down. "Yea, Goldman was the attorney to Burns. I know this because Lisa told me!"

"Very good Abraham." The phony Smither's voice changes. "But how did you escape the gas?"

"Oh, I didn't. Jasper here breathed it all in while I covered my mouth! I'll take that million now!" Grandpa reaches out, but is stopped by Comic Book Guy.

"Not quite!" He walks in, hunched over Movie Critic Guy does as well. "The real Irving Goldman died a month ago, he is really the accountant, Marvin Metzler!"

His voice changes again. "Yes, yes very good. How did you know?"

"Simple, when I saw the bill in the hands of the dummy, I knew only an accountant would hold on to such a thing." Comic Book Guy walks over to Metzler. "My money please. It will buy me many comic books."

"But how did you survive?" Metzler asks.

"Oh, my cousin here is notoriously strong. He saved us. My money please!"

Stu and Dinah run in. "Hold it one psychedelic second! That is not Marvin Metzler!" Dinah coughs.

"What happened to her?" Movie Critic Guy asks.

"She threw the bomb in the toilet and flushed right before it went kablooey! As I was totally saying, that man is actually Irene Burns!! The illegitimate daughter of Burns, baby, Burns!! Oh!" Stu busts a move at the reference he made.

"Excellent, yes. How did you know?" The phony Smithers voice changes again.

"I smelled your funky perfume as you walked past me when serving the soup. I knew instantly who you were. Dinah here told me of Irene, and she totally wore that same perfume! Disco Stu wants his money now!"

Irene goes back to the desk and sits. She picks up the money. The Simpsons run in to the center of the room. "STOP! That person is not Irene Burns, Marvin Metzler, Irving Goldman or even Smithers!!" Lisa proclaims. "It's really...

* * *

**Who is the murderer? You'll find out in chapter 10. **

**The suspense is KILLING you, isn't it? Muahaha...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: A Plan Foiled**

"It's really...Sideshow Bob!!" Lisa yells.

Sideshow Bob removes the Smithers mask, revealing his large hair. "Yes, it is I!!" He laughs and pushes a button on the desk. A cage falls and traps the Simpsons.

"There goes my theory..." Homer takes out a piece of paper and looks at it. On it is the word **Lenny.** He crumples it up and throws it away.

"And now that I have the Simpsons in hand, the rest of you can leave." He pushes a button that unlocks all the doors. The guests scramble out. The Simpsons are now trapped like carrots.

"You were behind this?" Bart asks.

"Yes. Every thing was painstakingly set up by me."

"And now you're going to tell us how you did it, right?" Bart asks.

"Correct."

"Excuse me, but I have one question. Was that scorpion poisonous or not?" Marge asks, worried.

"Not at all." Marge sighs. "I'm the one whose going to kill you, not a scorpion." Marge groans. "Now, I escaped from prison days ago. I found this little mansion and devised a plan. I would enter in the sneakiest of ways..."

**FLASHBACK TO THREE DAYS AGO**

Sideshow Bob runs up to the doors of Mr. Burns mansion. He rings the doorbell. Mr. Burns looks through the peephole.

"Trick or Treat." Bob says like a child would.

"Trick or treat? It's not even October!" Burns opens the doors. "Go away!! I have no--"

Bob hits Burns on the head, knocking him out. "Trick." Bob drags him to the closet. He goes back outside and disguises himself as Mr. Burns. He goes upstairs and prepares the invitations.

**END FLASHBACK**

"And then, you all came, one by one. My first attempt of the evening was at the front door. I made an attempt to drop a gargoyle statue on his youthful head. The first time, I almost hit the wrong person. When I missed Bart, I decided to do it to everyone that way I wouldn't give myself away too easily. Then, at dinner, Smithers misunderstood me and gave the poison to Homer instead of Bart. I said Mr. Simpson, and he just assumed I meant Homer. Oh, well... Then I tried the old falling sword trick. Unfortunately, you got up because of your pink chair! It takes a real man to be able to handle pink, you know. Then, much later in the evening, the scorpion was meant to kill you! Then I realized I bought the wrong kind of scorpion and it was doomed from the beginning. But it was still a good scare, yes? And here we are now! You will all die by **my** hand now. Any last words?"

"Yes, what happened to Smithers?" Lisa asks.

"Oh, I locked him up in this closet, see?" Bob walks over and opens up the closet. Smithers is lying there bound up.

"Who's there?" Smithers asks.

"Never mind him. Now prepare to die!" Bob pulls out a gun.

"Die? Oh no." Smithers says to himself. "Wait...hey!" He blinks a few times. "I can see!!" He looks up and sees Bob. "Sideshow Bob?" He looks over and sees the Simpsons.

"Farewell, sweet Simpsons." He chuckles. As he is about to shoot, Smithers tackles him to the ground. They land near the corner. Smithers gets up. Bob lies there, not moving. Smithers hops to the desk and hits the cage button with his head. The cage rises and Marge runs over and helps Smithers out of bondage.

"Thank you, Marge. Sorry for all this. If only I'd known it was him..."

"Don't worry about it, you were only doing your job." Marge says.

"Can we have some food now?" Homer asks.

"Sure. Follow me." Smithers starts to walk, but sees Bob getting up. He stops.

"You'll pay for that." Bob says as he gets up. "**Now** you will all die!" He steps forward, but steps on a rake. He falls to the ground, unconscious.

"So that's where I put that." Smithers said. "I was gardening this morning and wasn't sure where I put this." He said as he picked up the rake.

"All's well that ends well, huh gang?" Marge said.

"Yup!" Homer responds.

"Got that right." Bart says.

"Yep...wait! What about Mr. Burns?!" Lisa says.

"Oh my!!" Smithers runs downstairs and opens the coat closet. He sees Mr. Burns lying there. "Sir? Are you okay sir?" He asks as he removes the tape from Mr. Burns mouth.

"Where the hell have you been?" Burns asks. "I've been here for days!"

Smithers helps Burns up. "Sorry sir, I--"

"No excuses!! I'm starving. Make me dinner! Then throw it away and make it again!!" Burns walks off.

"Things are back to normal." Smithers follows him.

"Who are these people in my house?" Burns points to the Simpsons.

"Those are the Simpsons, sir. They--"

"Release the hounds." Burns says uncaring.

"Yes, back to normal indeed." Smithers presses a button and dogs come out and chase the Simpsons out of the house.

"Awww..." Homer groans as he's running. "I never got my cake!" They run off into the night.

**THE END**

* * *

**And so ends another movie parody by yours truly. This has been a very interesting story to write. **

**Hey, haven't had enough of Disco Stu and Dinah? Well I aim to please. Sometime in the near future I will make a sequel to this story. It will be called: I So Totally Married An Axe Murderer. This is a story loosely based on the Mike Myers movie So I Married An Axe Murderer. As Stu and Dinah finally set a date for their wedding, Stu finds evidence that may lead to his untimely death: Is Dinah an axe murderer who kills her husbands on their honeymoon? Only time will tell. Hope you enjoyed the story!**


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